Choosing

As a divorce attorney, a lot of people ask me if I think marriage is "worth it.” I'm never sure what that means, but I do know for sure that I think marriage, or being in any relationship, is about choosing. 

It's about choosing that person each day. It's about choosing to work through difficulties together. It's about knowing you could leave, but choosing to stay. It's about choosing to be with that person, knowing that they are not perfect, and accepting that you aren't either. 

Choosing to be with someone is a commitment in itself. There may not be a piece of paper that says you are committed, but that paper is not what's needed. What's needed is that you each decide, together and individually, that being with that person, experiencing life and the joys and delights it brings, is that much brighter because that person is with you. What's needed is knowing that when you are not at your best, you are still accepted and loved, and when the other person is not at their best, you give them grace. 

So for me, it's not about whether marriage is worth it, but whether the choice is worth it. And if you are choosing and being chosen in return, then deciding to get married or not, is not really the question, because you already have the answer. 

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