An airport is a funny thing. Whenever I'm in one, which has been more often than not lately, I find myself looking at people and wondering: where are they going? where did they come from? are they married? do they have kids? are they happy?
Happy is the big one for me actually. Before I got married, I remember being in law school and, on a more-frequent-than-I'd-like-to-admit-basis, I would consult a psychic about what my future would be like. (Full disclosure, when I visit my friend Cathy in Oakland, CA, she and I ALWAYS consult a psychic. Not one in particular, just anyone we pass on a street. Our only rule- which has been currently implemented- is that said sidewalk psychic has to have a place that is not their residence thus forcing one to wait in the living room with their kids while your friend is the kitchen, behind a closed door, getting her tarot cards read and you can't be in the same room together because the psychic energy will get mixed up between you two so one of you has to sit in the living room with 2 teenage girls who don't speak English and keep looking and you and giggling... but I digress).
Back to happiness. So when I was in law school I would wonder if I would fall in love, would I get married and would I have kids? Psychics told me yes. I believed. And a couple of years later I did fall in love. I did get married and I did have kids. And a couple or 8 years later I got divorced. And it occurred to me when I was married: is this what happiness looks like? And it occurred to me when I had kids: is this what happiness looks like? Because while I was married, I thought I was relatively content, but was I happy? Well, it turns out, no I really wasn't. I was married to someone who, it turns out, didn't want to be married to me. And I thought it was my fault. And I tried to change to be someone he would love. And all that did was make him feel worse and me feel less happy.
So we got divorced. And a funny thing happened on the way to the courthouse. I got happy. I found out that I sort of like the sound of my (usually way to loud) laugh. And I found out that I like that I can't sit with my back to the door. And I found out that I have really good friends and I have really good kids, and I have a really good family. And they love me for who I am- loud laugh and all.
And I have friends who are married, and I have friends who are not, and for all of them I wonder: are they happy? When I'm sitting in the airport and I'm waiting for my plane, and I see all these people going all these places, I wonder: are they happy? And if they are not, then I wonder: why not and more importantly: what are they doing about it?
See, I'm a "doer". In the book "Where's the Cheese" I'm the Scurry mouse. Point me a direction and I will go there. Fast. Now. Maybe that's why I'm a divorce attorney. So that when people tell me "I'm not happy in my marriage" I take off- I know where to go- I know how to help them- I know they can be happy and I know they have taken the first step.
And to all of you I wish, from my very first personal blog post- happiness. And I wish, for me, that you will keep reading as I keep posting.
After all, this is the life.
- a
Happy is the big one for me actually. Before I got married, I remember being in law school and, on a more-frequent-than-I'd-like-to-admit-basis, I would consult a psychic about what my future would be like. (Full disclosure, when I visit my friend Cathy in Oakland, CA, she and I ALWAYS consult a psychic. Not one in particular, just anyone we pass on a street. Our only rule- which has been currently implemented- is that said sidewalk psychic has to have a place that is not their residence thus forcing one to wait in the living room with their kids while your friend is the kitchen, behind a closed door, getting her tarot cards read and you can't be in the same room together because the psychic energy will get mixed up between you two so one of you has to sit in the living room with 2 teenage girls who don't speak English and keep looking and you and giggling... but I digress).
Back to happiness. So when I was in law school I would wonder if I would fall in love, would I get married and would I have kids? Psychics told me yes. I believed. And a couple of years later I did fall in love. I did get married and I did have kids. And a couple or 8 years later I got divorced. And it occurred to me when I was married: is this what happiness looks like? And it occurred to me when I had kids: is this what happiness looks like? Because while I was married, I thought I was relatively content, but was I happy? Well, it turns out, no I really wasn't. I was married to someone who, it turns out, didn't want to be married to me. And I thought it was my fault. And I tried to change to be someone he would love. And all that did was make him feel worse and me feel less happy.
So we got divorced. And a funny thing happened on the way to the courthouse. I got happy. I found out that I sort of like the sound of my (usually way to loud) laugh. And I found out that I like that I can't sit with my back to the door. And I found out that I have really good friends and I have really good kids, and I have a really good family. And they love me for who I am- loud laugh and all.
And I have friends who are married, and I have friends who are not, and for all of them I wonder: are they happy? When I'm sitting in the airport and I'm waiting for my plane, and I see all these people going all these places, I wonder: are they happy? And if they are not, then I wonder: why not and more importantly: what are they doing about it?
See, I'm a "doer". In the book "Where's the Cheese" I'm the Scurry mouse. Point me a direction and I will go there. Fast. Now. Maybe that's why I'm a divorce attorney. So that when people tell me "I'm not happy in my marriage" I take off- I know where to go- I know how to help them- I know they can be happy and I know they have taken the first step.
And to all of you I wish, from my very first personal blog post- happiness. And I wish, for me, that you will keep reading as I keep posting.
After all, this is the life.
- a
As I read this -- I feel not only happy, but lucky. Lucky that you are my "laugh as loud as you want, don't care what anyone thinks, call up in the middle of the night, promise to drive across the country if you need me to" friend. If I read this blog post, and I didn't know you, I would WISH that I did. I am SO happy to call you my friend. KEEP WRITING!!!
ReplyDeleteI love your blog, and I love you being happy, and I love your loud laugh (especially at restaurants), and I love being your friend for (gasp!) over 30 years!
ReplyDelete