Tilting at windmills

I was thinking the other day about people "tilting at windmills" and how that phrase is usually said in a somewhat derogatory manner. As if the person doing the titling was deluding themselves into thinking that reality is somehow not what it actually is. As if the person struggling with whatever demons they are tilting against didn't matter or was unimportant. But I think we forget that we each pick our own issues and struggles to get through in life. We each figure out what is important to us and we each decide how we are going to get through whatever life throws at us. And if others think that we're just wasting our time, well maybe that's more of a reflection of the other person's issues.

Since I'm a divorce attorney, I spend a lot of time listening to people complain about issues their ex or soon-to-be-ex spouse is causing. Whether it's dragging the kids into issues that should be left to the adults or fighting over who gets the barbecue, each couple has their own issues to hammer out. It's easy for me to say "Who cares about the damn barbecue" but then I realize that maybe the barbecue set is not just for grilling steaks. Maybe the barbecue set is representative of all the times he tried to do something nice for her (grilling said steaks on said bbq) and she ignored him or wasn't appreciate of his effort. Again. For the 140th time in a row. Maybe every time he grilled said steaks on said bbq he left it a mess and she was left cleaning up his mess. Again. For the 155th time in a row (because she counts back longer than he does). Maybe the bbq set means that they didn't appreciate the efforts each of them made. Maybe it means that they felt like they weren't seen or heard or loved. Maybe their bbq-windmill is something that should be tilted at because it's important.

So for all of us struggling with issues or concerns that others don't think are important or worthy, I say to you, "Tilt all you want. It's your life. Live it as best you can. Just for today. And every day."

This is the life.
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