Hostess with the mostess

So here's the thing, turns out when you are the hostess of a party, you cannot get drunk. And I don't mean "should not get drunk" when I say "cannot get drunk", I mean you physically cannot get drunk when you are hosting. Case-in-point, my birthday fete on Friday evening.

I had a wonderful time, please don't get me wrong, but I could have done with a little alcohol haze. Here's why- I love my friends, I love having people over, I love celebrating my birthday.... lots of love going around.... and a little neuroticism (ok, let's be honest... A LOT of neuroticism). See, when I have people over, or when I am at all responsible for a group of people getting together in one place, I get very concerned with ensuring that everyone is having a good time. (Yes, this is on my list of "things to discuss with my therapist" but we haven't gotten there yet.) I worry that people aren't drinking enough, aren't eating enough, aren't laughing enough, aren't having a good time. I worry that people took time out of their lives to attend whatever function I'm fretting over and that they are now sorry they did so. I worry that they will never attend another function I throw, so I tend to over do it on the food, the music, the stripping flame-thrower (not really but have thought about it just to ensure people do have something interesting to discuss the next day. See, now you DO want to come to my next party just in case I do throw in the stripping flame-thrower.)

Mind you, my party on Friday was fun. People were laughing and eating (the food was unbelievably delish) and the music was good and the mix of attendees led to some great conversation (just how long would YOU last in a federal minimum security prison?) and I believe a good time was had by all. But I still fretted. I still ran from person to person to person all night long, talking approximately 2 minutes each time which meant: a) I talked to everyone but b) discussed almost nothing and c) didn't drink very much. (I kept losing my drink which you would think meant that I was drinking too much but all it really meant was that I was channeling my inner-ADHD-ness running from conversation to conversation.) So the final outcome was that at the end of the night I was sober... and exhausted... and happy... and grateful to all of my friends for celebrating with me. All in all, a great evening.... but at the end, I sure could have used a drink.

This is the life.
- a