Make your own family

As we get older, siblings move away, parents move away, and we can find ourselves living in a City with no biological family nearby. It's funny when that happens because then you look to create a "family" out of the people you care about, not just the people whose family you were born into. (Yes, I just ended that sentence with a preposition but I can't figure out how to rewrite it so it doesn't sound pretentious). And a funny thing happens on the way to creating your own family, you wind up with friendships that are deeper and more meaningful, even as you fight and bicker as if you were siblings.

I love my friend-family. My friend-family is my friends and their children, their spouses, their friends and their family. My friend-family broadens or shrinks with the seasons and the years. People are in my life daily for a while and then we may not speak for months. We share our joys together and our heartache. We agree or we agree to disagree. We are only a phone call away. We send each other email cards and e-vites and have e-arguments. We can talk on the phone for an hour while bathing children and doing dishes and putting away laundry, or we can leave a 5 minute message on voicemail which is returned by a 5 minute message in response. We are busy but we are always in each other's thoughts. We have held each other's babies and held each other's hands. We are each other's moral compass. We are each other's comfort.

We are family and we are friends and we love each other even when we don't get along because that's what families do.

After all, this is the life.

- a


  1. Welcome to being gay. This is what the vast majority of all gay men and women do when they are first coming out and continue to do as they mature. You find people like you, that you can relate to even though you are not related. I am much closer with my family of choice than with my family of origin.

  2. Love that, "family of choice"- perfect phrase for those of us who find each other through circumstance and stay together through life.


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