Today I'm going to Easter brunch (a holiday that, by consent, my children and I don't celebrate) with my ex-husband and his family and I've got to be honest, I'm feeling the need for a little pre-game pep-talk. I'm not good at being fake. I have NO poker face. I don't want to go to brunch sullen or angry or channeling my inner-13-year-old. I want to go to brunch and be me... or maybe me-lite (since me full-throttle does not really go with that side of the family).
Sometimes when my ex and I are not getting along, I get really angry and upset that I chose "wrong" all those years ago, but then I remember this: my ex-husband was the wrong guy for me in a happily-ever-after kind of way, but he was the right person for me at the time we met and for the time we were together. I don't believe in coincidences and because of that, I have to believe that he was the right guy for me to have children with, he was the right guy for me to move back to St. Louis to be with, he was the right guy to help lead me to the fabulous-ness that is me today (with the help of really really good friends and a really really good therapist).
So today, as I savor the deliciousness that is peach pie bread pudding, I will try to remember that all those years ago, I made decisions that were right for me at the time, decisions I won't second guess because they all, every one of them, have led me to become the funny, outgoing, confident, sometimes-over-the-top-but-always-true-to-myself, laugh-out-loud person I am today; and for that, I am grateful.
After all, this is the life.
- a
Sometimes when my ex and I are not getting along, I get really angry and upset that I chose "wrong" all those years ago, but then I remember this: my ex-husband was the wrong guy for me in a happily-ever-after kind of way, but he was the right person for me at the time we met and for the time we were together. I don't believe in coincidences and because of that, I have to believe that he was the right guy for me to have children with, he was the right guy for me to move back to St. Louis to be with, he was the right guy to help lead me to the fabulous-ness that is me today (with the help of really really good friends and a really really good therapist).
So today, as I savor the deliciousness that is peach pie bread pudding, I will try to remember that all those years ago, I made decisions that were right for me at the time, decisions I won't second guess because they all, every one of them, have led me to become the funny, outgoing, confident, sometimes-over-the-top-but-always-true-to-myself, laugh-out-loud person I am today; and for that, I am grateful.
After all, this is the life.
- a
Sounds good. Stay in the now, and avoid the search for a better past as best you can, while not beating yourself up for the occasional, short termed what if pondering..
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