Ok so I am now going to impart to you some of the wisdom my therapist once imparted to me. Yes folks, right here and right now you can read for FREE what I paid $200/hour to hear. (And by the way, yes it was totally worth it.) I've been approached by several girl friends lately who have bemoaned to me that there must be something wrong with them because the last several guys they dated didn't work out. I bring this up now because a) when more than 3 people are having the same issue then b) it's probably time to speak up about it and c) spring is here which means that libidos are in bloom.
So here's the thing, ladies (and gents if you also find yourself in this position. Although I have yet to have a guy friend complain about the same thing so maybe it's just a chick-issue. But I digress...) just because it doesn't work out, does not mean that it has A.N.Y.T.H.I.N.G to do with you. There is a book called "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz and one of those principles is not to take anything personally. Trust me when I tell you, this is a very difficult principle to live by. I, myself, take almost everything personally, but then again I am slightly narcissistic by nature so maybe it really does have to do with me. Anyhoo, this principle put into action basically means that you look at the other person's actions and you remind yourself that what they are doing has nothing to do with you. In the words of my therapist, "Some people prefer yellow roses" as in "Some people like red roses, some like pink and some prefer yellow. It is nothing against the red or pink rose, it's just that person's preference." Ok. I get it. And I buy into that, for the most part. (I actually don't believe that anyone outside of the state of Texas prefers a yellow rose to red or pink but maybe someone will email me differently).
So all of this translated into regular people-speak means that there is nothing wrong with you. You may not have done anything wrong. You don't need to change who you are for someone else. (Unless you are a sociopath or psychopath in which case there is something wrong with you and you should get yourself to a psychiatrist tout suite.) If you like who you are, if you are happy in your own skin (more often than not- we all have off days of course), then someone, someday will think you are just right the way you are as well. Someone who really likes you and really loves you, loves YOU in all the crazy-funny-weird-quirky-hysterical-messed-up-ness that is YOU! Love it. Live it. Enjoy it.
After all, this is the life.
- a
So here's the thing, ladies (and gents if you also find yourself in this position. Although I have yet to have a guy friend complain about the same thing so maybe it's just a chick-issue. But I digress...) just because it doesn't work out, does not mean that it has A.N.Y.T.H.I.N.G to do with you. There is a book called "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz and one of those principles is not to take anything personally. Trust me when I tell you, this is a very difficult principle to live by. I, myself, take almost everything personally, but then again I am slightly narcissistic by nature so maybe it really does have to do with me. Anyhoo, this principle put into action basically means that you look at the other person's actions and you remind yourself that what they are doing has nothing to do with you. In the words of my therapist, "Some people prefer yellow roses" as in "Some people like red roses, some like pink and some prefer yellow. It is nothing against the red or pink rose, it's just that person's preference." Ok. I get it. And I buy into that, for the most part. (I actually don't believe that anyone outside of the state of Texas prefers a yellow rose to red or pink but maybe someone will email me differently).
So all of this translated into regular people-speak means that there is nothing wrong with you. You may not have done anything wrong. You don't need to change who you are for someone else. (Unless you are a sociopath or psychopath in which case there is something wrong with you and you should get yourself to a psychiatrist tout suite.) If you like who you are, if you are happy in your own skin (more often than not- we all have off days of course), then someone, someday will think you are just right the way you are as well. Someone who really likes you and really loves you, loves YOU in all the crazy-funny-weird-quirky-hysterical-messed-up-ness that is YOU! Love it. Live it. Enjoy it.
After all, this is the life.
- a
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