Field trip

So today I'm going on a field trip to the zoo with my youngest daughter. I'd like to say that I'm not going to bring my Blackberry with me but that would be a lie. I'd like to say that I'm not going to think about work or worry about what I have waiting for me at the office and that I will concentrate wholly and fully and completely on my daughter, but that wouldn't be true either. Here's what I can promise both myself and my youngest: I will treasure today for what it has to offer. I will remember going on the bus and looking at her face filled with excitement for this first school field trip. I will remember how she has called me every night to remind me about the field trip and to remember to bring my lunch and to remember not to be late and to remember to bring her favorite shirt. I will relish a day of being away from the office physically, if not completely mentally. I will revel in my daughter's pride at having me be there with her and I will be thankful for a job that lets me take a day off to share this with her.

I can't promise to be the perfect mom or the perfect friend or the perfect sister or daughter. I can't promise I won't make mistakes and be selfish and be snappish and be impatient for things to happen the way I want. I can't promise I won't trip and fall and skin my knees and my pride and my heart, but I can promise to pick myself up again and start anew.

I can promise that I will do my best today, whether that's good enough for someone else or myself or not. I can promise that if I do make mistakes it's because of fear and not because of cruelty. I can promise that I will do all I can to learn from today and remember the lessons of the past and try try try not to repeat them. I can promise to be true to myself and what I believe and what I hold dear and what I hold sacred. I can promise to take a day off of work to go to the zoo and be thankful and grateful and honored for that.

After all, this is the life.
- a