I'm feeling a little fragile today. It's funny, this fragile feeling, because usually I'm steady and sturdy. Usually I'm the anchor, the rock, the touchstone that people will look to because I'm always there, predictably, reliably. And yet today I'm feeling a little shaky, a little unsure, a little unseated in my day. I ask myself why today am I feeling this way? Why today am I questioning so many things in my life? Why today has my usual reckless-abandon-way of looking at life left me in the lurch?

There are times when I need no reminders from others that I am doing ok. There are times when I am my own cheerleader, when I need no one else to spur me on to action, when I need no one else to confirm that I'm on the right track. There are times, more times than not, when I feel pretty good about where my life is going, where I've been and where I have yet to travel.

And yet, today is not one of those days. Today I need a little extra reassurance from those not living my life that everything will turn out ok. Today I need to feel that I am not alone, that others will stand beside me. Today I need to hear that I am not the only one who questions why I am here and what I have to offer and if I'm doing the right things for my family and myself.

There are days when I live my life feeling grateful and peaceful and content... today is not one of those days. But I will not write today off and live my life unconsciously. Instead, I will embrace today and see what it has to bring me. I will not fight what it is I'm questioning and pondering and fretting over. I will not tamp down the thoughts and the angst and the emotions that are rising up. I will welcome it all and embrace it all and look at it all and I will ask what it is I need to learn and what it is I need to do and where it is I need to go. It's from these questions that we are spurred to seek answers. Today I will learn what those questions are.

This is the life.
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