Third wheel

I have a lot of married friends and, having gone out quite a bit with those married friends, I can tell you that they fall into 2 distinct groups: 1) those who welcome a third-wheel-single-girl-friend-tag-along and 2) those that don't.

It seems that having a single girl friend come along with you and your husband on a date is seen to many as a bad thing. I don't know if it's a feng shuai thing because there's an odd number, or if it's a "don't be so fun because you might steal my husband from me" thing, or maybe it's just a "you being single reminds me how much I want to be single and not married to this person anymore" thing. Whatever the thing, on behalf of all the singles out there, I say this: we are not pariahs. We are singe by choice. We haven't met the right guy and we're not eyeballing your husband so just get over it.

Being single is hard enough without having to feel like you are a burden to bring along when you go out. Let me say this about myself and most of the other single-girl-friends I have out there- we are seriously a lot of fun to be around. We are funny and (possibly drunk) and happy to be out. We may be single parents who are thrilled to be with adults and not talking about homework or Lego's or stuffed animals. We enjoy our friends and we enjoy our life and just because we are not attached does not mean we aren't (simply put) fab-u-lous.

So, to my friends who welcome me with open arms as a third wheel I say: THANK YOU!! Thank you for being secure in your relationship and being open-minded and non-judgmental and fun and loving and accepting and wonderful. Thank you for not always asking why I haven't met the right person and why I'm not married and why I didn't stay with my ex and whether I think my life ended when my marriage did. Thank you for including me in your life with your husband and not worrying that I will seduce him (I promise I won't. Seriously. No matter how perfect you think he is, I'm not interested- if, for no other reason because he's MARRIED TO YOU!!)

And to my friends who make the third-wheel situation so much more awkward than it needs to be I say: you are missing out, because, drunk or not, we singles are a lot of fun. We probably have hysterical stories about bad dates and bad manners and bad teeth and bad etiquette that will have you peeing in your pants we're so funny. So please, let go of your worries, let go of your thinking we will feel awkward being a third wheel, let go of whatever it is that's holding you back. Embrace the third-wheel. We are worth it .

This is the life.
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