Put yourself out there

Ah my well-meaning married and single-but-attached friends. "Put yourself out there", they say, referring to my dating life. "You won't meet anyone sitting in your living room." is advice I have been given so many times, I know exactly when it's going to come up in a conversation. And yet... how many stories have you heard about people actually sitting in their living room talking to a contractor or the plumber or the pool guy and they have fallen in love with that person? It happens.

I believe that when you are supposed to meet your Mr. or Ms. Right, it will happen; whether you're in your kitchen, on-line or in a bar. You will meet that person when you are supposed to meet them, not a minute before and not a minute after. I believe in Fate. I believe that the people who come into our lives do so for a reason- to have us learn something about ourselves, to help us along during a difficult time, to be in a romantic relationship with us for 5 minutes or for forever. It will happen when it happens.

And yet, those of us who are single are searching. It may not be an active search. We may be very happy with our lives the way they are. I'm not looking for someone to "make my life better" - my life is already "better"- I'm just looking to share it with someone. I'm not looking for someone to save me - I don't need saving- I'm just looking to have someone in my life who adds something to what I already have. My therapist used to say that it's not a matter of needing someone in your life, it's a matter of preferring to have someone in your life. I would prefer to be in a relationship. No, I don't need a romantic relationship to make me happy, but I would prefer being in one.

So here I go, on another web-site search for someone to add to my life. I have friends who have had great success on-line; I have others who call it a disaster of epic proportions, but it's something I can do now. It's a way for me to "get out there" without bar-hopping every night, and I may meet someone nice. Who knows? All I can do is "put myself out there", cross my fingers and wish for the best.

After all, this is the life.
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