I like being a divorce attorney. I really do. Every day I get to help people through a really challenging part of their lives. Every day I get to see people who seem to be hobbled by what life is bringing them and I get to help them back onto their feet. I get to take people who have had enough, who can't take it anymore, who will no longer settle for mediocrity or less than mediocrity in their relationships, take their lives in their hands and step out of their comfort zone and get ready to face the world again.

It can be a relief to acknowledge that the relationship is over. It can be a relief to tell the other person that it's time to move on, it's time to call the game, it's time to divorce. It's a feeling of freedom, it's a weight lifted off your shoulders, it's an acceptance of what is. And yet, with that relief, that sense of giddiness and hope for the future, is also a sense of sadness.

It's one of the paradoxes of my job that getting divorced is both happy and sad- usually equally. It's a wonderful feeling to have a sense of a new lease on life when you feel that you have been brought down by a relationship that was supposed to lift you up. But there's that sense of angst that a love once had, once held with such promise, once cherished so much that you took a vow before God, once felt with conviction and compassion, once held with both hands tightly, arms wrapped around each other, hoping that embrace would never end- all of that is gone. That sense of wanting no one else but the person who stood before you, that sense of knowing that someone understood you, saw you for who you are and loved you because of and in spite of it all- all of those feelings have left. There's sadness there.

And it's ok to admit that. It's ok both to feel that sense of wonder at what the future will bring, to open your breath and exhale, to become light-headed at all of the possibilities that freedom brings. It's also ok to admit that the loss of this relationship, the loss of this marriage, the loss of the hope you once held for that person is painful, physically even, in your chest and in your soul. It's ok to feel all of these things, and none of them. All together or one at a time. It's all ok. Because it's all true and it's all yours and it's your life. To take it today and strive for tomorrow. To make due with what you have and to make it better the next day.

After all, this is the life.
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