Falling in friendship

I was thinking the other day about my friends. I'm lucky. I have friends and acquaintances who fit into all molds and none at all. I have friends who are thin or not. I have friends who are married or not; divorced or widowed or single by choice or single by circumstance. I have friends who are black and white and brown and a mix of some of the above. I have guy friends and girl friends and friends who are gay and friends who are straight. I have friends who have kids and friends who want kids and friends who neither have nor want kids. I have friends who are happy and friends who are angry and friends who are content and friends who are searching. I have friends who are funny or spiritual or agnostic or apathetic or energetic or calm. I have friends who will make me laugh and help me cry. I have friends who will remind me to get off my ass or sit with me and wallow. And all of them, every one of them, I love for who they are. I love them exactly as they are and I wouldn't ask them to change. Not for me. Not for anyone.

And for my friends who are single, those who I accept and appreciate, I wonder why they haven't found someone to love. I wonder why they aren't in love or aren't married. I wonder why it is that someone hasn't seen them and stopped them on the street and stared and them and exalted, "Oh here you are!" And then I realize something: maybe being loved is not about romantic love. Maybe the fact that I love my friends for who they are, is love enough. Maybe the fact that when I see them on the street and I am thrilled to run into them and I am the one to exclaim "Oh here you are!" is enough. Maybe we can all want romantic love but maybe we should not be so focused on that and should instead appreciate that there is love all around us; that we are loved whether or not we are in a romantic relationship. That who we are is enough and perfect and lovable and wondrous. Maybe that's what true love is.

So maybe the next time we meet someone we think we might want to fall in love with, maybe we should wait before jumping in. Maybe instead of thinking of something as romantic we can think of that something as friendship and go from there. Maybe we can grow to know someone and love someone as our friend- we can accept them and their faults and their attributes, we can determine whether we are good friends and good partners and good together before deciding to be romantically linked. Maybe it's the friendship that we should revel in and let the rest fall into place.

After all, this is the life.