My daughter's best friend lost her father this weekend. He was 42 years old. It was sudden. It is unbelievably sad. It is unspeakably heart-wrenching. I have been thinking of his wife, what she must be thinking, how she must be wondering how she can go on another day. I have been thinking about his daughters- ages 9 and 4. How they have lost their dad so young. How their lives will never be the same. How in the one moment- a heart attack- no more than one minute long- everything has changed.

My youngest brother was 9 when my mom passed away. His life was forever altered. That one event changed the direction of his life completely. He would never be the same. None of us would. I remember what I wore to my mother's funeral. I remember wondering how I woke up the next day and wondered how I would make it through even that day. How getting through a week seemed impossible. How "moving on" with my life after such a loss was unimaginable.

And yet we do wake up the next day. We continue to take another breath and we continue to eat another meal and we continue to live. It is not the same life as before. Our hearts will never feel the same; our souls will be forever scarred. But even though our life is not the same because of that one instant, our lives continue to go on. Because they must. Because there are people who still love us and there are people who still care about us and there are people who still rely on us and look to us for comfort and look to us for strength. We continue to go on because that it what life is- it's about one moment taking our breath away and breaking our hearts and stopping for an hour, for a day, for a month. Turning inward and turning away from the light and turning into ourselves and seeking peace in slumber and seeking solace in the quiet.

And then one day we know we can look up and look outside and we can know that the hurt will not be gone but it is not as sharp. One day we can breathe just a little deeper, just a little easier without feeling the acute loss. We realize that we have lost something precious- in both the person we loved and from the person we were before the loss- but life will go on, and we with it. We will never be the same but we are better for having loved the person and we are better for having them in our lives.

This is the life.
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