What if

What if, no matter what you did, I would love you anyway? What if you could be exactly who you are each moment of every day and I would love you just the same? What if, no matter the circumstances, I would stand by you and hold your hand and send you good thoughts and be your partner and be your shoulder and be your conscience and be your listener? What if you would love me exactly the same? What would our lives look like? What would our hearts feel like? Would our tension be relieved and our soul be freed and our eyes be just a little brighter? Would our hopes for tomorrow be not so desperate and our dreams seem just a little closer to coming true? What if that could happen? What if it already is?

Because the truth is that we can do this and we can have this and we can feel this right now. Today. Usually we want it from someone else. We want a partner to hold us and comfort us and tell us we are beautiful and tell us we are perfect just the way we are. But for some of us, that partner has not arrived and sometimes, it seems the waiting is worse than the not having. Sometimes, it seems, that hoping that person will walk through the door is worse than realizing they are not here yet.

So what do we do? Do we sit and wallow? Do we wait? Do we put our life on hold and decide not to do anything just yet, just in case? It's tempting. It's tempting to think that if we just hold out for a minute longer that our true love will walk in the door, but I, for one, am sick of waiting. I, for one, am sick of thinking that someone else will make things right; that someone else will fix what I think is wrong in my life. I, for one, am done waiting for my life to get started and my love to arrive. I, for one, am ready.

So I may feel lonely and I may feel scared. And I may feel like my life is taking too long to get here or I may feel like there is too much to do today to even begin to think about tomorrow, but I also know that I cannot wait for love to come in the door. So I will try to be my own best friend. And I will try to love myself no matter what and accept myself no matter what and not berate myself for silly things said or foolish things done. I will try to be the person I want to have walk through that door. It may not be easy, because I know myself better than anyone. But isn't that more reason to decide to accept myself "as is"? Isn't that more reason to love myself the most? Isn't that the best reason to decide that no one needs to walk through that door because I'm walking right out of it ... and right into living my life.

After all, this is the life.
- a


  1. You may feel like because there are no coments, your blog goes unread, but actually your posts are very inspirational and I look forward to them.


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