"Even just asking the question is enough." ~Elsie Escobar. I was listening to a yoga podcast offered by Elsie Escobar, and I was struck by her words. Maybe just asking the question is enough. They really rang true with me because for the past several years I have found myself on a quest to find answers. I want to know how things will turn out, I want to know that I will find true love and I will find contentment and I will find that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I know it can happen because I have friends who are there, who have made it, who have found their perfect partner, who have found their success, who have found their center and are at peace. They are few and far between, these friends, but they are in my life and I am grateful for that because it is a reminder that all things are possible. For the rest of us, though, who are searching for answers, a lot of frustration can surround our quest, so maybe if we just allowed ourselves to ask the question, and understood that at least by asking we were engaged in our lives, at least by asking we were living our life today as best we could, at least by asking we were an active participant in our lives, maybe that would be enough.
But finding the answers is what I do, it's what I'm oriented around, it's what I feel most comfortable with. Knowing the answer to a question makes me feel worthy and solid and steadfast. It's when things are unknown that I am most uneasy. It's when I wonder how things will turn out and if I made the right decision that I wring my hands in discomfort. The not-knowing is difficult, but maybe it's the key.
Maybe if I knew that I didn't have to have all the answers, I would feel just a little less pressure to always be right. Because the truth is that it's the people who care enough and are strong enough to ask the questions whom I find most compelling. I don't look to others for answers, I look to others for guidance. And maybe understanding the questions they've asked and reviewing with them the rocks they've turned over looking for their truth, looking for their answer, maybe in that way I will be comforted knowing that while I may not have the right result, I am on the right path and I am in good company. Maybe knowing that we are searching for something greater than ourselves with others by our side allows us to not be so quick to find the answers and to enjoy the journey instead. Because taking someone's hand and walking down the path together, meeting others and sharing in their journeys, enjoying the company of those searching along with you, maybe that's the answer in itself. And maybe we just need to keep asking the questions and keep searching for our truth and keep our eyes open for the answers we may find.
After all, this is the life.
-a
But finding the answers is what I do, it's what I'm oriented around, it's what I feel most comfortable with. Knowing the answer to a question makes me feel worthy and solid and steadfast. It's when things are unknown that I am most uneasy. It's when I wonder how things will turn out and if I made the right decision that I wring my hands in discomfort. The not-knowing is difficult, but maybe it's the key.
Maybe if I knew that I didn't have to have all the answers, I would feel just a little less pressure to always be right. Because the truth is that it's the people who care enough and are strong enough to ask the questions whom I find most compelling. I don't look to others for answers, I look to others for guidance. And maybe understanding the questions they've asked and reviewing with them the rocks they've turned over looking for their truth, looking for their answer, maybe in that way I will be comforted knowing that while I may not have the right result, I am on the right path and I am in good company. Maybe knowing that we are searching for something greater than ourselves with others by our side allows us to not be so quick to find the answers and to enjoy the journey instead. Because taking someone's hand and walking down the path together, meeting others and sharing in their journeys, enjoying the company of those searching along with you, maybe that's the answer in itself. And maybe we just need to keep asking the questions and keep searching for our truth and keep our eyes open for the answers we may find.
After all, this is the life.
-a
Holy cow! Allison, talk about stepping into the seat of the mighty yogin! I like you was always looking for answers. And I have to admit, I also continue to do so, especially with regards to my daughter, in fact it's THERE that I'm learning more and more about the value of simply continuing to deepen the questions.
ReplyDeleteI ask "am I doing this right" "am I giving her the right foods" "am I exposing her to the right stimuli" "am I harming her by still sleeping with her?" "should I let her cry?" and on and on and on.
I've done well with deepening the questions in many different aspects of my life, but with her, gosh darnit I just wanna know if I'm doing it right!!!! I've had to continually ask questions, refine my question asking, shift and open up to the unknown and trust in the absolute resonance of my own heart and those around me. Holy cow has this been a challenge. The more I seek the 'right' answer, the tighter and less sensitive I become. The harder I am toward actually receiving insight. The more I allow myself to refine the question asking and continue seeking as an opportunity to be better and better and better, the more joy I feel, and the more Hunter tunes in to it and thrives :)
Thank you so much for you post love! xoxoxoxo
Allison,
ReplyDeleteI too was a questioner, a worrier. There's a quote on a Mary Englebright calendar that speaks to me. "Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles. It empties today of its strength." I know this much for sure: mistakes are learning experiences, and every new day provides an opportunity to try anew.