Enough

I was listening to my yoga teacher, Elsie Escobar, explain how to make our yoga mat a sacred space. She was reading from "Yoga from the Inside Out" by Christina Sell. The author described "softening more and hardening less", letting our yoga practice offer more peace to our body, more peace to ourselves. It made me think: what if I could silence the self-critic that plays in my mind? What if I could silence what Geenen Roth labels "The Voice", that thought pattern that tells us we are not good enough, we are not exercising enough, we are eating too much or to little, we weigh too much to be loved, we aren't perfect enough to be of help to anyone, we are not worthy, we are not good enough the way we are.

What if, instead of The Voice, we heard silence, or acceptance, or (dare I say it) adoration of our bodies and ourselves exactly as we are today? What if we didn't look to the past to see what we did wrong, what if we didn't look to the future for when we are stronger or thinner or can run longer or faster? What if being able to practice our yoga, or take a walk, or enjoy the morning just as it is was enough for right now? What if what we had was just enough and not too much?

Is that too much to ask, that we could accept and love where we are today? I hope not. I hope that, when moments like this occur, when I am on my yoga mat and I am practicing the poses and I feel strong and I feel steady and I feel at one with my body, that these moments will occur more often than not. That at some point I will silence The Voice and I will accept where I am and I will understand that I am worthy of love and of joy and of laughter and delight right as I am today. Not 5 or 10 or 20 pounds less in the future, but right now.

Because I am more than my body. I am more than the scale and I am more than my size and I am more than my hair color and my flowers and pearls. I am my soul and I am my compassion and I am an open heart. One of the things I love about myself is that I don't see people for what they could be or who they were, I see them exactly as they are today. And I love them and their 10 extra pounds and their less than perfect hair and their crooked smile. I love my friends and my family for the uniqueness that they offer to the world. And today, I will try to bring that same outward joy and love to myself, exactly as I am today. Because today I was strong on my yoga mat and today I was present and today I inhabited my body fully and kept my attention and intention intact. Today, on my yoga mat, in that sacred space, I honored myself for where I am today, just as I honor you for where you are today. And maybe with a little more acceptance and maybe with a little more appreciation we can all be fully present and be fully engaged and be fully who we are today. And let that be just enough.

After all, this is the life.
-a

Comments

  1. "I am more than my body." The gist of life, if only we could keep that perspective.

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