Let it go

I was watching "Eat, Pray, Love" the other day and was struck by one of the pieces of advice that was given in the movie: send me love and send me light and let it go. It made me stop, and think, of those I've loved in the past, who I've hurt, who have hurt me; of those I miss and those I don't, of those I hold dear and those I wish to forget; of those who are still in my life and those who haven't been for many years.

The memories remain and sometimes so does the pain. The thoughts of love entered into so unabashedly, so confidently, running full-speed ahead without care for the next day, being consumed by the pure energy and love and lust. But those loves ended either by consent or by stomach-churning-breath-taking painful good-byes. There are those loves I think of and smile and those I think of and grimace, but all exist in my past and all have left their marks.

So what are we to do with these past loves? It seems too little to just forget them, to erase what was, to paint over what existed in hopes of no longer remembering what was once there. Maybe the advice in the film is correct and what we should do for each of those we loved, for everyone to whom we gave a piece of our heart and who gave us a piece of theirs in return, those we miss and those we never want to see again, those we cherish and those we cannot, those we still care for and those who failed to care thoughtfully for us- we should treat each of them equally, each of them the same. We should send them all our love and send them all our light and then... drop it. Drop the anger and the sorrow. Drop the sadness and the madness. Drop the regret and the wishes. Drop it all. In appreciation of what once was, in acknowledgement of what is no longer.

We can fill them with our love and fill them with our light and we can drop them both and close that door. And we can be lighter and more loving for having done so. Because more light cast out means more light in the world, and more love given out means more love exists, and dropping it all means no longer carrying that which no longer belongs to us. Dropping it all means no longer being tethered to that which does not serve us. Dropping it all means walking away lighter and more hopeful, stronger and more determined, happier and more optimistic.

After all, this is the life.
-a

Comments

  1. The other morning during that in between state, I thought I was at the pearly gates, because every lovers name and face infiltrated my waking moment. I woke up breathing hard, for all the wrong reasons.

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