We'll be better off somehow, someday

"And maybe someday we'll figure all this out
Try to put an end to all our doubt
Try to find a way to make things better now that
Maybe someday we'll live our lives out loud
We'll be better off somehow, someday"
- "Someday" by Rob Thomas

So for whatever reason (and there's always a reason), this song and this lyric came to me in the shower this morning. And yes, I started to sing. And yes, I was off key. But it got me thinking. The thought that we can put an end to doubts is both foreign to me and enticing. Because there are times I am filled with doubt: about my children, about my love life, about my work and my friends and my family. There are days when I wonder why I am here and what contribution I am making. There are times when I feel I am living completely inside myself and times I feel completely disconnected. But regardless of what each day brings, there is another waiting just hours away. And the idea of making things better and living out loud is the goal I have in mind for myself.

Each day my hope is just to do my best and while there are days that I succeed, there are many others that I fail. And I think that getting discouraged at not doing your best each day, is sort of beside the point. Because we all have days like that, more numerous than we may like to admit, but the point is not to dwell on the days we are not our best but on the possibility of doing our best in the next day.

And maybe it's not even the next day we need to wait for. Sometimes I think I have to wait for a new year or a birthday to "start over", to make a resolution, to make a change, but the truth is that we don't need to wait for any of these events to occur and we don't even need to wait for another day to pass. We can make a change in our mindset and in our actions the very. next. minute; the. very. next. second; the. very. next. moment.

Because all it takes is for us to acknowledge that in this moment, we are not where we want to be. All it takes is for us to make a decision to change. All it takes is for us to acknowledge where we are and acknowledge that we want to be in a different space. So today I will forgive myself for being short-tempered or too impatient or too frustrated. I will appreciate that I am feeling that way, I will not berate myself for actions already done. But what I will do is try to take a breath and stop when I understand where I am is not where I want to be. I will take a breath and I will close my eyes and I will think to myself "shift" and I will shift gears. I will decrease my speed. I will take another breath. I will try to give myself this moment to shift and change and if it does not work I will try again. Because all we can do in this life is try to do our best. And we may not succeed in this moment or in this day or in this month, but it is in the trying that we grow and become who we are. It is in the trying that we are our best. It is in the trying to live our lives out loud that we can succeed in doing just that.

After all, this is the life.
-a

Comments

  1. One moment, one day at a time, the only way to approach life. You are right.

    ReplyDelete

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