Ask the Universe

There is a movement afoot (and has been for some time) that if you ask the Universe for what you want, the Universe will deliver. So you have to be careful what you ask for because, somehow or another, what you seek will come to pass.

I have a friend who is searching for love. She has been single for a while and although she has dated several men over the past couple of years, none has stuck. None of these men has been "it", none of these men fit what she was looking for. Not that her "wish list" was so unreasonable, it's just that something was always off: the timing was wrong for him, the timing was wrong for her, she was switching jobs and was focused on her career, he was going through a divorce, she was having trouble with her ex, etc. Or it may have been that the chemistry just wasn't right, that the attraction wasn't there, that their personalities just didn't mesh. Any way you looked at it, she had a string of failed relationships, so she decided to ask the Universe for what she wanted.

She made a list; an actual list. A written-down-if-I-could-order-a-guy-online-with-my-specifications-this-is-what-he-would-be list. She wanted someone nice. She wanted to make him laugh, she wanted him to make her laugh in return. She wanted him to be kind but also to challenge her and make her think. She wanted him to adore her. She wanted to adore him in return. She wanted there to be chemistry. She wanted to feel attractive. She wanted a man whom she looked forward to seeing and she wanted him to want to see her as well.

After making her list, she got bogged down in work and in her children and in her non-romantic life. And then one day, she met a guy who was really nice. He was a great guy. He was quiet and not her usual type, but she was willing to give it a shot. So she did. She tried. But as nice as he was, he didn't make her laugh and she didn't feel any real attraction. Not wanting to be ungrateful, she thanked the Universe for showing her what it's like to meet a nice guy. And she also thanked the Universe for showing her that laughter is important to her and that a sense of humor is a must-have. So she added her "must haves" to her list including "nice" and she let "Mr. Nice" go on by and on her search she continued.

In just a few short weeks, the Universe answered her again. With a really nice guy who was really into her. He adored her; thought she was funny; thought she was beautiful. She thought this might be "it". She thought he might be "the one". And then as time went on she realized she needed to amend her list again. Because as much as he adored her (and as much as she adored being adored) she didn't adore him back. She didn't think he was funny and she didn't feel any chemistry. She was distraught. To be adored is a wonderful thing, but didn't he deserve that in return? She knew she didn't feel the same, so she thanked the Universe again and amended her list again: to "nice" and "must adore her" she added that he should adore her as much as she adored him. She didn't ask for the world, she just asked for reciprocity. Because to be adored is wonderful, unless you don't feel the same.

And now she is out there again, waiting and living her life. She wonders if she will ever fall in love again. She wonders if she is too picky. She wonders if settling might really be the option. But deep in her heart she knows she won't settle, can't settle, and won't take the easy road out just because it's in front of her presenting itself.

So to my friend who is out there again, I say "full steam ahead!" You are putting out there what you want. You are sending out your energy for what you need. You are asking for what you deserve and you won't settle "just because". You are living your life as if you mean it. You are living your life as best you can. So keep on trying and keep on praying and keep hope alive. Because one day it will come to you. I just know it. If you just ask... and wait... and believe.

After all, this is the life.



  1. What a beautiful post, Allison! And oh so true....Nobody should ever "settle" for someone. I hope your friend does indeed find that man, because I don't believe she's asking for too much, or being too picky whatsoever! (Oh, and I also believe in writing down what you want!)

  2. My dear aunt who is coming up on eighty carries a list too. You'd think it would get shorter as she gets older, but hers gets longer.

    Sometimes we sabbotage ourselves by turning down the nice guys, in favor of excitement. Everyone is looking for that flaming love fire, which burns out quickly, but a burning ember stays lit and provides comfort.


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