When is good enough, good enough?

I have a friend (several actually) who are in relationships. The relationships are fine, everything's ok but there's a problem, and the problem is just that: everything's ok, everything's fine. There is no real spark. There is no real chemistry. There is no real pizazz or delight or butterflies. And my friends have asked me, on several occasions, "So why am I unhappy? If everything is ok, why am I not? Why isn't good-enough, good enough?"

It's an interesting question. Because there are those of us who are not in relationships who crave the normalcy and structure of a constant companion. There are those of us who are single and who long for the days of knowing someone is waiting for you at home, knowing you have a ride to take your car to the mechanic, knowing you have someone to take you to the airport and go grocery shopping for and go to dinner with just because it's a Tuesday in June. There are those of us who just want the steadiness of a relationship and someone to love and someone to love us in return.

But do we really? When we say we want normalcy and steadiness, do we want monotony and boredom? When we say we want a constant companion do we want that person to be there every second of every day without regard for what it's like when you are together? I don't think so. I think all of us and each of us may want a companion, but we want compatibility over all. There is something to be said for relationships that are so hot in the beginning that they fizzle out in the end, but for the slow simmering ember of a long-lasting love, don't you have to have some element of fire underneath?

Of course you do. And of course we all want that. So in my opinion, "good enough" is only good enough if you feel content and not anxious. In my opinion, "just fine" is just fine only if you would rather be with the person more than without them. In my opinion, "ok" is just ok if you are ok with your life as it is. If you are ok and happy and content, not to the thousandth degree, but to a degree that leaves you fulfilled, then ok is just fine. But if you are "just" fine and "just" ok and "just" staying in the relationship because you are scared of being alone, then I don't think any of it is ok or fine or good enough. I think we owe it to ourselves to seek out what's in our best interest, to love someone and be loved in return and to feel that more often that not. I think our lives are ours to be lived and not limped through; and to do that sometimes requires you to muster up your courage... and take a leap of faith.

After all, this is the life.