It's ok to be happy

I think one of the feelings we are most surprised to find upon getting divorced is happiness. We are not surprised to feel sad and mad and dismayed and heartbroken. We are not surprised to be depressed and terrified and anxious and despondent. We are not surprised to be angry and worried and lonely and devastated. But we are surprised to be hopeful and cheerful and relieved and joyous. And sometimes it's those surprised feelings that bring out the worst in us, because we think that if we feel these good feelings upon such a terrible event occurring, that we are somehow bad for feeling that way.

But it is not bad or wrong to be happy after divorce. In fact, I would submit, that may be the whole point in getting divorced. We get divorced to get out of a bad marriage, to get away from a situation that isn't working, to step away from and apart from someone who does not make us or help us feel the best that we can about ourselves; and what's not happy about that?

I think there is a part of us that may feel like we would hurt someone's feelings if we felt better about being divorced. Our ex-spouse may be offended, our ex-family would be dismayed, our friends and our family who supported us in marriage may think we are throwing our happiness in their faces if we show just how relieved and excited we are about getting out of a marriage that was not in our best interest. But really, if they were our true friends, and really if they were supportive of us, and really if they wanted the best for us, wouldn't they be right there at our side jumping for joy?

Yes. Yes they would. Because true friends and true family want you to do what's right for you. Having your back means that those people who stand behind you will stand behind you and maybe they'll even give you a push... in the right direction.... toward your best life... in search of your love and your light... away from the darkness. So feeling happy is not wrong or shameful, rather it's a beacon of light showing you that you're on the right path. Be happy. Be cheerful. Be relieved and be hopeful. Choosing your happiness can never be wrong, it can only add light to an already bright future.

This is the life.