Inspiration

Some days you are more inspired than others. There are days I leap out of bed, I have so much to do and I can't wait to get started; there are other days I have so much to do and the list seems to long and time seems to short and I get stuck. I am waiting for inspiration. I am waiting for a change. I am waiting for something to move me in one direction or the other. So many lists. So many choices.

Those days and those moments when I am paralyzed and overwhelmed, I just want to sit down with my head in my hands and do nothing. And while sitting down and doing nothing when there is so much to be done seems counter-intuitive, seems unproductive, seems like turning my head away from my responsibilities, maybe sitting down is really just what I need. 

Because eventually I'll get up and get moving. When the time is right. When the inspiration strikes. I'll get up when I let my mind clear and wander and it occurs to me what I need to tackle first. The most important, the most pressing, the most work needed to be done right now will raise it's hand and ask to be handled. It will go on like that with each task moving to the front of the line as another one is finished. One by one they will come to me. One by one they will occur to me. One by one I will summon my energy and move forward, task by task.

Until then, though, I will sit and wait. I will ponder and I will consider. I will decide when to move and when I do I will have direction. But until then, spinning my wheels and seeing everything all at once doesn't serve me or my to-do list well; that action of spinning and worrying really doesn't lead anywhere but in one big circle. So I will give myself the gift of time, of consideration, of emptiness. And when it is time to move, I will move steadfastly and earnestly. But that time is not today or tonight; that time is not in this moment. That movement will come when it's time is here; so tonight I will just sit and be still.

After all, this is the life.
-a

Comments

  1. Think of yourself as steeping, thoughts and ideas blending waiting to pour forth. I am in a lull too.

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