Holding out for a hero

When I was younger I used to love the song "Holding out for a hero" by Bonnie Tyler. I would listen to that song and I would sit and wonder whether, later in my life, a hero would come waltzing in and sweep me off my feet. Well as I sit here today, I can tell you that no such hero has swept me off to anywhere, and while I do wish for love to come into my life, as I get older, my ideas about love and what I want have changed.

When we are younger and thinking about getting married, we have this pie-in-the-sky idea about what love will be like, what marriage will be like, what our life will be like when we are older. In my 20s I often thought about what my life would be like when I turned 30. I wondered if I would be married and have children. I wondered if I would be happy and in love. I wondered if I would be successful in my career and in my personal life. I called psychic hotlines. I had my tarot cards read. I wondered and I looked for answers. And while I waited for the answers, I also lived my life. 

As I lived my life I found love and I made a family. I found a career and I found new friends. I started a life and I believed it was all that I needed. And it was for a time, until it started to fall apart. I wondered as my life around me fell open and separate, where I fit into the mix. I lost myself and I lost my bearings as my love began to crumble, as my marriage began to tear, and I found myself at the end of that road bewildered and in shock. For the path that I had started on did not lead me where I had imagined it would. So I began again to wish for a hero. But being older and being a little more battle-worn, I suddenly realized that I didn't want to be rescued. I didn't need to be swooped away. I didn't need to be anywhere other than where I was to start on a new path again.

And maybe understanding that I didn't need to be rescued is enough for me to know that today, being on my own, is ok just as it is. Maybe understanding that we are enough, that we have enough, that we know enough to move forward alone, is enough to propel us to our next great adventure. Maybe understanding that the fact that we have ourselves, that we have our faith, that we have a belief that something more is waiting, something more is possible, will keep us motivated when we feel lost. Because moving forward on our own  is more important than being rescued by someone else. Instead, let us rescue ourselves from the rut we are stuck in. Let us dig deep and move on. Let us keep the faith and keep inspired. Let us know that what we have is plenty and what is waiting for us ahead will have been worth the wait.

After all, this is the life.


  1. Excellent advice as always. Hugs, and Happy New Year. I'm not sure it is even wanting to be rescued, as it is wanting to share with someone who cares.


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