Starting over

I think one of the greatest fears about getting divorced is having to start over. We look at our married life and we wonder, in the midst of a divorce, what will be left in the end? Where will we live? Where will we work? What will we do with our time? What will happen to our friends? The questions we have haunt us at night and plague us by day. We perseverate and we ponder. We worry and we fret.

But one thing to remember about starting over after divorce is that we really aren't starting from scratch. We have memories and we have life experience. We have weathered troubled times and we have relished joyous moments, and being divorced doesn't take any of that away from us. If anything, being divorced after having lived through so much allows us to step into this new chapter with fresh eyes and an open heart.

Because starting over after divorce means starting where you want and going where you want. Making new friends or taking the old ones along with you. Keeping a house or moving someplace new. Staying in town or venturing out to a new city. All of these adventures lie waiting for us on the other side. All of this time we have in front of us is ours for the taking and the enjoying. All of these new memories we will create are created to some extent by where we were before and by looking at how far we've moved ahead.

Starting over after divorce isn't really starting over, it's starting new and starting fresh. It's looking to see who we are now and who we want to be in the future. It's understanding that moving away from a marriage that didn't honor us is an honor to ourselves. Moving forward into a life of possibility is a badge that we should wear with pride, to wherever it is we want to go, however it is we decide to get there.

After all, this is the life.