It's all in how you look at it

I'm learning as I go through life that much of what we feel is as a result of our perception of events, rather than the circumstances themselves. Just as it is the darkness that defines the light, so also does our view of events change how we feel about them.

It's like when we are first in a relationship with someone. We want to be sure, we want to read the signs correctly. We don't want to give up too quickly on something that has promise, but we don't want to hold on too long to something that isn't right. And yet the one thing that gets lost in the analysis of these issues is the being in the moment, it's the feeling of anticipation, it's the butterflies we feel. Because not knowing how things work out is what defines the beginning of that relationship itself and defines who we are as part of that couple.

I think for those of us who have fallen in love before and been hurt, we are scared of falling too quickly again. We are worried our feelings might not be reciprocated. We worry that time apart will cause the relationship to fall apart. We worry that too much time together will crush the spark. And the truth is probably that neither one is right or wrong, it's all in how you look at it. 

When we're apart, knowing someone misses you can be a comfort; and maybe it feels good to have someone in our lives to miss. Maybe it feels good to have someone to love with abandon without worrying whether you will get that love in return. Maybe knowing someone loves you is itself a delight. 

Maybe the joy in not finding love yet is in waiting expectantly for that person to walk in. Maybe there is relief and exuberance in walking away from that which doesn't serve and nourish you. Perhaps it's in looking at our circumstances differently that we find hope we once thought was lost. Perhaps it's in the waiting that we find what we have been looking for all along. 

After all, this is the life.