Wallow Big

I have those days where I just feel overwhelmed and under appreciated. Where my children and my friends and my work and my house and my car maintenance and my haircut and my checkbook balancing and my house cleaning and my relationship balancing and everything everywhere seems to come down all at once. And I don't know where to start. And I don't know what to do. And all I really want to do is crawl under the covers and pull them way up over my head and just sit.

I want to shake my fists in the air and cry out "Why me?" for all that has happened in my past, for all that is not perfect right now. Because it's hard being a single mom and it's hard being a working mom and it's hard being in a long distance relationship and it's hard having friends who are too far away and friends close by that you don't get to see and there are too many groceries that need to be bought and meals to be planned and clothing to be washed and toilets to be cleaned. It's all just a lot some days. And it all seems a little unfair.

And I think the answer is to wallow. But not just wallow- wallow big. Sink deep down into it. Get up to your neck in it and over your head and become mired in it. Feel it deep down in your toes. Feel it in your hair. Feel it to the very tips of your fingertips. Feel it in your soul. Feel sorry for yourself. Feel sad and mad. Feel disgusted and disgruntled. Feel horrible and sick. Feel it all. Feel it a lot. Feel it in every inch of your body.

Until you decide that you have had enough. Until you decide you are sick of feeling sad and sorry. Until you decide to do something to get out of that space. Until you decide that enough is enough. Because that time will come and that energy will appear. But if you can't summon it today, then just don't. Just wallow. Until it's time to stop and get up. But don't rush it. Don't push. Just be where you are today and see what may happen tomorrow.

This is the life.


  1. We owe it to ourselves to wallow sometimes. A pity party can be cathartic. March is almost here!


Post a Comment