So it seems I've been on a bit of a Billy Joel tear lately and I heard another song that really struck me. In "And so it goes" he sings: "So I would choose to be with you; that's if the choice were mine to make. But you can make decisions too, and you can have this heart to break." I think this stood out because of the people I have in my life who are struggling with the fact that things aren't turning out the way they hoped, despite their very best effort, despite their very best intention.

It seems unfair, to open yourself up, to make yourself vulnerable, to offer what you have to someone else and to have them turn away. And yet, because a relationship is between two people it takes both of you to decide to be in it. It takes both of you to decide to take a chance. It takes two minds to be set in the same direction.  It takes two people to make it work. It takes two people to try equally hard. 

I think it's one of the hardest lessons to learn, that no matter how much we may want it to be something, no matter how much we believe in something, no matter how much we care or how much we try, no matter how much we love or how much we give, it still may not work if you are in it alone or are giving more than you are getting.

But does that mean the effort to make it work is worthless, does that mean the hope that you put forward is lost? I don't think so. Because when we decide to open our hearts, it can only make us more accepting and more loving to what may come our way down the road; and that can never be bad, and that can never be wrong. It may not be the right relationship right now, but someday things will become clear, about why this didn't work, to allow the right person to step in.

After all, this is the life.