Wholly you

I think that being with the right person means that when you are with them, you are wholly you. You are not "holey" you (less than who you are) or "holy" you (trying to be more than exactly who you are), you are just you. Complete and imperfect. Total and flawed. You are comfortable in your skin, you are comfortable being next to them, you are comfortable in the relationship, you are comfortable alone. You are who you are and you need to be no one else nor try to be something you are not.

But the thing about being wholly you in a relationship means that before you can get there, you need to be wholly you by yourself. Just as we ask someone else to accept us and love us, we need to do the same for ourselves. I wonder at times, why it is so easy for me to show love to those I care about and yet so difficult for me to do the same for me? Why do I tell my friends they look beautiful 5 pounds down or 15 pounds up - because they are beautiful to me no matter the scale- and yet I cannot do the same for myself? Why is it that I am so free to say "I love you" to friends and to family, to offer help or a strong shoulder, but I have trouble doing those very things when I am the one in need? 

I think that when we can appreciate exactly who we are, then maybe we can truly enjoy and believe that someone else could appreciate us being in their lives. When we can feel that who we are is exactly who the universe needs us to be, when we can understand that we have a role to play, when we can believe that we are worthy, it's at that time that we can believe that love will come to us; that we can open the door to it, that we can revel in it and be thankful for it. Because we deserve to be loved wholly and completely- by others but most importantly by ourselves. 

This is the life. 

-a