Clearing space

I got rid of my treadmill the other day. It was in my garage and it hadn't worked for months. I kept thinking I would call to try to get it fixed, but the cost of the part to fix it cost more than the treadmill was worth. And yet I still held on the the treadmill; taking up space in my garage, moving things around it to make everything fit. But it didn't work. And it was finally time to admit that was so and let it go.

Over the past 2 weeks I also got rid of 2 lamps that had been broken for.... longer than I'd like to admit. I got rid of clothes that didn't fit or that I didn't like. I got rid of clutter in my basement. I cleaned out pots and pans that I had never used or didn't know how to use. I did this all in an effort to make room - not for anything in particular, but just to create some space.

Because I was trying to figure out what I wanted my house to look like, what I wanted my living space to feel like. And I think I did this all so that I would be in a place to also look inside and see what relationships weren't working in my life and to move them as well, to make space for me, to make space for something right.

It's hard for us to admit when we feel and we know that something doesn't work for us, that it's broken and can't be fixed. And we may hold on longer than we should and we may put out more effort than is necessary; but at some point we will be faced with the fact that something that is wrong cannot be made right. And as hard as it is to let it go, and as hard as it is to admit that it's not working, it's in the moving out of the wrong that lets in space for the right. And whether the right thing is around the corner or far down the road, being in a relationship that isn't working and can't be fixed needs to be cleared out to let in room for the light to come in.

After all, this is the life.
-a

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