It's not how it looks

My whole life I have always  thought about what my future would look like. When I was in my 20s I wondered what my husband would look like, what my children would look like, what my career would look like, in short, what my life would look like as I got older. When I'm faced with a problem, I wonder what the solution looks like. When I am faced with a crisis, I wonder what the end result will look like. I have tried to visualize how things would turn out in an effort to manifest a result. And the funny part about all of this is that as I get older, I am now realizing that it is less what something looks like and more what something feels like.

I now know that things can look a certain way on the outside when in fact, the reality of the situation is very different. In my life and in my job, I understand that a marriage that looks perfect, a couple who seem to have everything, may be struggling on a minute to minute basis to keep things together, to keep up appearances. I now know that people I see who wear a certain brand, who carry a certain bag, who have a certain "look", may have a life at home that none of us would wish on our worst enemy. I now know that things are not always as they seem.

But one thing that can't be denied is how something feels. How when you are with the right friend, your troubles seem to lessen because you have a trusted shoulder to help bear the burden. How being truly honest and telling the truth about your life to someone else can make you feel lighter and more blessed, no matter your circumstance. How being with the right person makes you feel cherished and loved and listened to, and (maybe most of all) completely at ease with whatever you do and say.

So I am going to try to listen more to how I feel in situations and rely less on how things look. I am going to try to feel with my gut rather than believe what I see. I am going to close off what I believe the truth is from looking outside and instead be open and considerate of my feelings. And I will hope that all of this learning and all of this feeling will lead me to where I need to be and with whom I should share my future.

After all, this is the life.


  1. If only all of us could come to this understanding. great post.


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