Afraid of change

Sometimes I love Pandora radio. When I am listening along, usually without thinking and suddenly a song comes on, usually one I've heard a million times before, and for the first time I listen, really listen, to the words. I had that experience with an old Fleetwood Mac song, "Landslide."

As Stevie Nicks sang "I've been afraid of changing because I built my life around you" I suddenly realized just how true that is for so many of my friends and my clients. How so many of us are stuck where we are because we have invested so much time, invested so much love, invested so much of ourselves and our lives with this other person that saying goodbye and letting go seems impossible, seems unfathomable, seems like giving up on something so significant we can't imagine our lives any other way.

At least that's the second part of that sentence, because the first party, the first 3 words are really the killer, are really the crux, are really the impetus behind being stuck. Being afraid is the reason for not moving on, being afraid is the reason for not letting go, being afraid is the reason to stay exactly where you are and not taking a step out of line, no matter what.

It's the fear we have to deal with. Because while the investment may be weighty, if we are not afraid to find out what lies ahead for us, we can overcome anything. If we are brave enough to choose the unknowing future rather than the unfulfilled past, we can start anew. If we decide to put our fear aside or to move even if we are afraid, that's when the real test begins; that is also where the miracles can start. Being afraid and moving along anyway, investing a lot and still saying goodbye, not knowing what lies ahead and choosing that anyway, just for the possibility of happiness is why we are here.

After all, this is the life.


  1. Allison, your words resonate. My story, published in Gloria Gaynor's book is about this very fear. And she was right, "We Will Survive."


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