Not all tears are evil

You'll please forgive my quote from Gandalf in the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy if you are not the Hobbit fan that I am, but today was one of those days that the words of an old wise white wizard rang true in my heart: "I will not say do not weep, for not all tears are evil." You see, I have been crying lately. As a milestone in my daughter's life grows near, I am both moved by how quickly the time seems to pass as she gets older, and how far away my mom seems to be at those exact moments.

Because there are times you just want your mom to talk to; you just want her shoulder to lean on; you just want her advice to be given (whether you heed it or not); you just want her voice to be heard. And when it has been so very many years since I have heard her voice, it just makes me sad that she is not here.

And yet, before you think that they are tears of sadness, that Gandalf quote rings true; for while I am sad that she is not here, I am also crying in remembrance of what she gave me and in honor of the mom she was. Having someone miss you is an honor in itself, having someone to miss is also a reason for your heart to sing. Losing my mom so many years ago is terribly sad, but having her at all left an imprint on me that remains to this day.

So before you cry because you have lost someone, you may also be crying for joy that they were here at all. I know I miss my mom, but I also know that I am grateful for having her at all to miss. I have to remember that, through my tears, my heart may both be a little broken, but also a little comforted. I will try to remember that tears fallen for someone means they were loved, and it means you had love to give in return.

This is the life.
- a