There was once a Seinfeld episode where George Constanza decided to try to pick up a woman by doing the opposite of what he had always done. And it worked. Magically. George went against every instinct he had in everything he did to get this woman to go out with him, and the woman practically threw her number at him to call her. It was funny, but, it turns out, it may also be just the trick.
There is a saying that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. So that by doing what you have not done before, you give yourself an opportunity to find what you are looking for; and in the process you may stop your own insanity and stop your own pain. Maybe if we stop beating our heads against the proverbial brick wall, our headache (and heartache) will stop.
It's like when people want to know what your "type" is so that they can see if they know someone to set you up with. But the thing is that your "type" didn't work before, so why would you ask to be set up with that same "type" again? Because it's comfortable? Because you think that's who you should fall in love with? Because you think that's who your family and society think you should be with?
I would offer this as an alternative: do the opposite. Don't ask to be set up with your "type", ask to be set up with someone fun. And funny. And kind. And generous. And adventurous. And delightful. And maybe in asking for those qualities, you will find that being attracted is easy. And that finding your match is not always such a chore. And that finding your happiness lies where you never thought you would find it.
After all, this is the life.
-a
There is a saying that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. So that by doing what you have not done before, you give yourself an opportunity to find what you are looking for; and in the process you may stop your own insanity and stop your own pain. Maybe if we stop beating our heads against the proverbial brick wall, our headache (and heartache) will stop.
It's like when people want to know what your "type" is so that they can see if they know someone to set you up with. But the thing is that your "type" didn't work before, so why would you ask to be set up with that same "type" again? Because it's comfortable? Because you think that's who you should fall in love with? Because you think that's who your family and society think you should be with?
I would offer this as an alternative: do the opposite. Don't ask to be set up with your "type", ask to be set up with someone fun. And funny. And kind. And generous. And adventurous. And delightful. And maybe in asking for those qualities, you will find that being attracted is easy. And that finding your match is not always such a chore. And that finding your happiness lies where you never thought you would find it.
After all, this is the life.
-a
Wise words, as usual. People are used to their comfort zone, no matter how dysfunctional, they know HOW to handle the dysfunction. The opposite seems unnatural. I tried the opposite and yes, it has worked for 25 years. Everyday he makes me laugh or smile. The first 25 were miserable. Try the opposite!
ReplyDeleteHere's to you and yours, Linda!!
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