Sometimes when things seem to be going too well in a relationship, I inadvertently create drama. I wonder what could be wrong, why everything seems to be ok, why I am happy; I wonder if I will I stay happy, what I need to do to make sure I am happy and he is happy and we are happy... and round and round I go overturning every relationship rock and stone to see what I could be doing better or differently, rather than just accepting that what seems to be good is actually.... good.
For those of us who have been hurt before, this process of not believing something can be good is sort of part of the relationship routine. We wonder and we fret about what it is we are not seeing for fear of being hurt again.
But the truth of the matter is that creating all of that drama just creates drama that not only doesn't need to exit but may not actually exist. The truth is that understanding and appreciating that letting something be will let it flourish, is a foreign concept to those of us who may fear the other shoe dropping. But the part about growing emotionally both in a relationship and because of a relationship is that while you may feel uncomfortable, that doesn't mean you have to actually DO anything about it.
Sitting with the discomfort of something going well seems so silly, and yet, that is exactly where I find myself. Wanting to push the relationship to something else or something new because I am unfamiliar with things being good just as they are, not only doesn't serve me well, but may serve to ruin a good relationship in the process. So I have decided to fight against my instincts to try to make something better or different and just sit with something good. I have decided to let it be, to see where things may go, to understand and appreciate that not being in the driver's seat doesn't mean I have to take a back seat; it just means I have to sit side by side with someone else to see where our journey takes us. Without pushing. Without drama. Without nervousness. Without tension. Just being and feeling and taking it all in one step at a time, one good moment after another.
This is the life.
-a
For those of us who have been hurt before, this process of not believing something can be good is sort of part of the relationship routine. We wonder and we fret about what it is we are not seeing for fear of being hurt again.
But the truth of the matter is that creating all of that drama just creates drama that not only doesn't need to exit but may not actually exist. The truth is that understanding and appreciating that letting something be will let it flourish, is a foreign concept to those of us who may fear the other shoe dropping. But the part about growing emotionally both in a relationship and because of a relationship is that while you may feel uncomfortable, that doesn't mean you have to actually DO anything about it.
Sitting with the discomfort of something going well seems so silly, and yet, that is exactly where I find myself. Wanting to push the relationship to something else or something new because I am unfamiliar with things being good just as they are, not only doesn't serve me well, but may serve to ruin a good relationship in the process. So I have decided to fight against my instincts to try to make something better or different and just sit with something good. I have decided to let it be, to see where things may go, to understand and appreciate that not being in the driver's seat doesn't mean I have to take a back seat; it just means I have to sit side by side with someone else to see where our journey takes us. Without pushing. Without drama. Without nervousness. Without tension. Just being and feeling and taking it all in one step at a time, one good moment after another.
This is the life.
-a
I discovered how to just BE...myself, quiet, accepting of what IS. A lack of trust causes us to wait for the other shoe to drop. It's hard to wait and see if the shoes are a perfect fit. Happy for you!
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