Be yourself

Friends and I often wax poetic about that moment when you are in a relationship and you can just "be yourself". You feel no pressure to put on airs or suppress your emotion or hide your opinions, you can just let it all hang out.

But as I get older, I have to ask myself if letting it all hang out in a relationship is something we should strive for. Maybe instead of trying to be the very least we can be with someone else, we should instead try to be the best of ourselves through the relationship. I'm not saying that we should muffle ourselves, but I am saying that maybe reaching to be our best is preferable to sinking down as low as we can and hoping someone loves us anyway.

I'm thinking of a couple I know who have been together for quite some time. In the time they have been together one of them was a vegetarian and one was not. One worked out and one did not. Over time they came to realize that they both had a passion for eating well and for taking care of animals so that together they started to lead a vegan lifestyle including being a voice for animal rights. They love each other fully and completely and yet they were able to help each other be even more than they were alone. Together they were able to help each other achieve goals greater than each could have achieved independently.

It's that kind of wholehearted living and loving that I find inspiring. Not that they don't get sick or have bad days or bad moods or bad times, but that they support each other in those times and rise up even higher together when things are good. And so I've decided to look for that in my relationship: to work together to help each other be better, to accept each other no matter what, and to see what two intentions brought together can achieve that one alone could not.

Lesson learned.
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  1. Hi Allison, I am just catching up with your blog. As always your posts are so insightful and helpful. Yes, we should strive to be the best we can be. I think when we are in a relationship, we should be our nicest selves for one another.


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