So it turns out that there are people in this world who are not going to like you. And conversely, there are going to be people in this world who you will not like. That seems like an easy lesson, but for those of us who are people-pleasers, who want people to like us, who take it personally when someone doesn't, it may take years for this concept to sink in.
For me, now that I'm in my 40s, I have come across both sets of individuals- those who do not like me and those I do not like- and I have struggled with how to approach each set. I think it may turn out that the answer is to treat both exactly the same. But what is the treatment and how is it something I can embrace?
I think it's like cilantro. I don't like cilantro. I mean, I really don't like it. And there are plenty of restaurants and dishes that are perfectly delightful to me until someone has the audacity to ruin the dish with the sprinkling of that herb. Cilantro. I appreciate that there are those who adore it. I appreciate that there are dishes made more (allegedly) complex with it's addition, I appreciate that the lovers of cilantro are many of the people I adore in this world. And yet, respectfully and from a distance I will admit: it's just not for me.
I think I'm going to try to same with those individuals in my life for whom we are not each other's cup of tea. I will be respectful and yet, I will also keep my distance. I will understand that we each have our own tastes and I will appreciate that ours may not mesh. I will step away from trying to make someone like me and I will step away from trying to like someone I just don't. I will attempt to remain centered yet apart. I will not compromise myself for others, but I will also try to remember that, much like cilantro, it takes many different tastes to provide unique experiences.
Lesson learned.
-a
For me, now that I'm in my 40s, I have come across both sets of individuals- those who do not like me and those I do not like- and I have struggled with how to approach each set. I think it may turn out that the answer is to treat both exactly the same. But what is the treatment and how is it something I can embrace?
I think it's like cilantro. I don't like cilantro. I mean, I really don't like it. And there are plenty of restaurants and dishes that are perfectly delightful to me until someone has the audacity to ruin the dish with the sprinkling of that herb. Cilantro. I appreciate that there are those who adore it. I appreciate that there are dishes made more (allegedly) complex with it's addition, I appreciate that the lovers of cilantro are many of the people I adore in this world. And yet, respectfully and from a distance I will admit: it's just not for me.
I think I'm going to try to same with those individuals in my life for whom we are not each other's cup of tea. I will be respectful and yet, I will also keep my distance. I will understand that we each have our own tastes and I will appreciate that ours may not mesh. I will step away from trying to make someone like me and I will step away from trying to like someone I just don't. I will attempt to remain centered yet apart. I will not compromise myself for others, but I will also try to remember that, much like cilantro, it takes many different tastes to provide unique experiences.
Lesson learned.
-a
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