Good and messy

I sometimes look at the lives of my friends or family or even celebrities and I think what a perfect life they must have. How I'm sure they never worry about their children or their finances or their work or whether they are having a good hair day. I think about what it must be like to have it so easy, to have it so casual and breezy, to have it so comfortable. And while I know that most of my beliefs about someone's perfect life are likely not even close to true, there are moments I get stuck wishing my own life could be like that.

But do I really wish that were true? Would I like it to be quiet and peaceful? Would I like it to be carefree and light? Would I like it to be calm and steady? Honestly? No. If I really think about it, that kind of perfection and surface relationship sounds boring. It sounds un-fun. It sounds very unlike me.

Because when I'm honest with myself, I like a little mess in my life and my relationships. I like to get down to the deep-seeded issues and anxieties and really learn what makes someone who they are. I like to have someone who doesn't always agree with me, who challenges me and makes me consider what it is I think and why it is I think that way. I like to know that my connection with someone is honest even if it's not always pretty. I like to know that I can be who I am and say what I think and know that I will be heard and appreciated for speaking up.

I like a relationship that's real... really honest and really connected and really open. Where emotions are not all tied up in a pretty ribbon but are meant to be laid-bare and considered. Where feelings- the good and scary and peaceful and loud and raw- are all allowed and honored and welcomed. Because I think it's in the mess that we truly understand each other and love each other. And that is always good.

Lesson learned.


  1. Some people are addicted to messy. I think it takes years to understand balance. Often we see what others want us to see, and seldom do we see their messes. What is it they say...behind closed doors.

  2. There should always be a balance with anything in life, no relationship, or anything for that matter can ever be perfect. Understanding = balance = stability.


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