Easy to judge

I've been struggling with this idea about judgment lately. About how it's easy to be on the outside of a relationship and think you know what it is or what it should be between two other people. And whether you think something is too good to be true or too bad to stay, it's really not up to an outsider to determine how two people should relate to each other. This is not to excuse any abuse or to say you should stay silent in the face of someone being in danger, but in the absence of that, maybe we should all spend less time thinking about what's going on in someone else's life and focus instead on what's going on in our own.

Because while it's helpful to talk with a trusted confidante about concerns you may have, or to listen to someone as they offer suggestions about what works for them, it's really up to us to trust ourselves in figuring out what is working or not in our lives. And if we are truly listening to what our intuition tells us, and if we have faith in our own ability to live our lives the best we know how, then all we really need to do is to be present and be thoughtful and make the best choices for us.

It's easy to say what we would do in a situation, but the truth of the matter is that, until we are in it ourselves, we really don't know. In listening to people every day struggle with the major decisions of staying in a marriage or leaving, in living my life with its own pitfalls and joys, I think I have come to appreciate the value of our individual beliefs, and the ability to live as best we can and without fear of judgment from someone else.

Lesson learned.


  1. This is so true. I know when one of my offspring has an argument, I hang onto the hurt for them, while they have already moved on.


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