Do I want to stay

It is the nature of my business that people do not want to come see me, because if they are in my office, there is a significant problem in their current or past marriage or relationship. It is difficult coming to see a divorce attorney, having to admit or be faced with the fact that something you believed in is no longer working; but while no one wants to get divorced, I think the issue should not be “I don’t want to get divorced” but rather “Do I want to stay?"

Our lives are full of transitions and difficulties and it’s my belief that the best way to get through the trials and tribulations is to surround yourself with the best people you can. That means people who believe in you, who support you, who you can rely on, and who are honest with you. It means choosing to have people in your life who hold you up and help you up, and not those who tear you down and berate you. It may be easier said than done to leave a marriage or relationship that is not healthy and nurturing, but I think it’s even harder to stay and try to make something work that just does not.

So while people ask me if it’s hard doing my job as a family law attorney, I tell them that the end-result is often worth the struggles to make it through the process. Because in the end, you may be alone, but there is hope that something better is coming. In the end you may be scared, but you are also free to live your life as you choose. In the end you have chosen to forge a path ahead that is unknown but potentially exciting. In the end you are choosing to embrace all that life has to offer, the possibilities  of happiness instead of the certainty of despair. In the end you are choosing yourself and that can never be choosing wrong.
Lesson learned.


  1. Hello Alison. True, divorce can be very painful but sometimes it might be for the best. Your job is difficult. Susan

  2. I know a lot of women who are in the forties and just discovering who they are and feeling inner strength to step out and away. 40s is usually the decade when women discover what they do want instead of what they don't want.


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