There's a funny thing that happens after you get divorced or widowed, your circle of friends suddenly becomes much smaller and quieter. As if you losing a spouse (by choice or by chance) is somehow going to affect your married friends. As if your decision to leave or the circumstance where you are left, will somehow foist itself upon your unwilling and unwelcoming friends.
It's funny how that happens, and yet it's also discouraging. Because just as we should embrace each other for the choices we make, we should also embrace in the aftermath. Just as we support each other through the shock of losing a loved one, so should we support each other in the rebuilding.
Our lives and our friendships may be intertwined with our friends, but they are still our lives to live. And supporting someone in their time of need and desperation has nothing to do with you, except that it makes you a better person for being there. Whether you have nothing to say except I'm so sorry, whether you have nothing to give but a shoulder and a tissue, being there for your friend is all that's asked of you. Not to judge or to understand even. But just to have someone know they are not alone, no matter how uncomfortable you may feel.
Lesson learned.
-a
It's funny how that happens, and yet it's also discouraging. Because just as we should embrace each other for the choices we make, we should also embrace in the aftermath. Just as we support each other through the shock of losing a loved one, so should we support each other in the rebuilding.
Our lives and our friendships may be intertwined with our friends, but they are still our lives to live. And supporting someone in their time of need and desperation has nothing to do with you, except that it makes you a better person for being there. Whether you have nothing to say except I'm so sorry, whether you have nothing to give but a shoulder and a tissue, being there for your friend is all that's asked of you. Not to judge or to understand even. But just to have someone know they are not alone, no matter how uncomfortable you may feel.
Lesson learned.
-a
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