Getting on with it, not over it

As I was talking to a friend the other day about a tragedy that had struck her family, she asked how she would ever get over it; and my answer was, you may never get over it, but you do get on with it. Whether it's the loss of a spouse or a child, whether it's the end of a marriage or the end of a friendship, when tragedy injures your heart and your soul, you are forever changed.

And after the loss you are faced with the fact that your life continues on and you with it. Never the same as you were before, but not necessarily worse. Because the experiences that mold our lives and shape our compassion and our outlook are often terribly sad, but they may also bring us gifts. It may be that after a divorce we learn to take responsibility for our actions in a relationship, to not take love for granted, to not take another person for granted. It may be that after losing a spouse we are struck with being grateful that we were loved, that we had someone to treasure, that our lives were enriched for having that person with us.

And after the commotion that surrounds the immediacy of the loss comes the quiet, the moving forward, the understanding that though we may not want it to, time continues to pass. But as we move along, we know we are forever changed- for having known the person, for having loved the person, for having lost what we thought was perfect, for having the appreciation for what once was. So it may not be that we are ever over the loss of a person or a relationship, but their impact on us imprinted, and that can never be erased.

Lesson learned.
-a

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