Make new friends

I was talking to a friend the other day whose teen-aged daughter is going through some "mean girl" antics. But the surprising thing to my friend was not that her daughter was the victim of the "mean girl" behaviors, but that she was engaging in it. This was even more surprising because her daughter had been the victim of such alienating behaviors herself; but it seems, when the tides turned in her favor, her daughter jumped right on board with her new friends.

It's hard, navigating the teenage-girl daily drama, but it's also hard being a parent and watching it. Because while we want to think of our children being perfect and doing the right thing, there are often times when they will not. So what is a parent to do? Sit aside and let the chips fall where they may and hope that the lesson learned is not too painful for any of the participants? Jump in and micro-manage your child's daily life and somehow believe you know or understand the intricacies of what's actually happening? Or maybe it's something else.

Maybe it's enough for us to reach out to our children to tell them to strive, in all ways, to be kind. To understand that while you don't have to be friends with everyone, you don't have to be cruel. To appreciate that some friends we make along the way we'll have for along time and others for a minute, but to be considerate of the person's feelings regardless. And maybe we as parents should be kinder and more considerate in our own interactions and not just tell our children how to behave, but show them as well; reinforcing what we say with our own conviction and actions.

Lesson learned.
-a

Comments

  1. Children certainly learn what they live, but they are also easily influenced by peers. We can hope for the best and address the issues.

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