Get off the crazy train

We all have people in our lives who tell us things about ourselves that we believe. It's not true, it's usually mean-spirited or manipulative, but we believe it nonetheless either because it's someone we care about, someone we respect, or someone whose opinion we think should matter. And yet, as I tell many friends and many clients, just because someone says something does not make it true. It's up to us to decide whether to believe. It's up to us to decide whether to internalize. It's up to us to decide whether to let this person influence us and impact our lives. And usually, in those situations, rather than deciding to believe, we should decide to get off the crazy train.

Because someone's crazy interpretations or beliefs about what they think is "true" does not make it so. Simply telling the story they believe to have occurred, or reading background or context into situations they really don't know, does not make their imposed distortion of reality true. It makes it their opinion. And we can choose to take that opinion to heart or leave it by the wayside where it more likely belongs.

It's harder when it's someone you care about or loved or is an authority figure or holds a prominent role in your life, but it's really those situations where it is harder that it is even more important to let go and not believe. Trust yourself and your intuition and your common sense. Trust what you know to be true. Trust what serves you best. Buying into someone else's story-line or their distorted version of the facts is not just unhelpful, it's unhealthy. So make peace with letting go of what someone says about you or to you if you know the truth lies outside of what they are saying. It's not just ok to not believe, it's important to do so.

Lesson learned.
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