Missing my mom

I spent the first third of my life with my mom, and the past two-thirds missing her. The feeling, the emptiness, the gap, the void, of not having your mom with you is something that binds those of us that have had that experience together. It's  like the threads of your soul that were torn when she left this earth somehow magically find those whose threads are also bare.

And it's the passage of time that makes it seem almost surreal, that it's been so long since she was here, that it's been so long without her. But hearing her laughter in my mind from time to time or speaking the words to my kids that she spoke to me, make that time seem immaterial, make that loss seem not as acute. So maybe it's in missing her but knowing her as well that makes the day she left seem both terribly sad but hopeful too.

Because in talking about her and remembering her, in thinking what she would have done and knowing how she would have reacted were she here, makes her seem closer by than time lets on. My mom may have left this earth so many years ago, but she has never left my thoughts. She lives with me and with my family, she is nearer than I think and also so far away. So today is the passing of another year without her but the reminder as well that she's never truly gone.

Lesson learned.


  1. Allison, our moms are forever in our hearts and minds. The loss never lessons, it's just that we find ways to cope, but still keep their memories alive. A friend lost her beloved grandma and was delighted to find notations about HER on everything she left behind.


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