Patience

For most of my entire life I can remember being told to have more patience. Even when I was a very young child, my parents implored me “Allison, please be patient.” And while I heard them, I never really listened. It has been a struggle my entire life. It’s even more of a struggle right now. 

Because having so little I can control and having life be so out of the ordinary and feeling so out of sorts for such a long time does not engender a great deal of patience in one who has very little to start with. And yet, it’s important to try. In fact, it’s more important than ever to have patience with others and patience with myself. 

Knowing that others are feeling just as out of control and knowing that for many of them whether they be friends, family, or clients, I am a sounding board and a touchstone to help them feel more grounded, means I not only need to listen with compassion, but also to be patient with their struggles. It means taking a breath or two or three while they rant, it means slowing down my response and thinking and considering before reacting. 

It’s the same with myself. I am quick to judge myself for not accomplishing more with the time at home, for putting on weight, for not completing as many projects as I think I should. But to be compassionate and patient with myself means understanding that this is harder than just staying at home. It’s harder to feel and be disconnected from routine and friends and life as I knew it. 

So while it has never been a virtue and has always been a struggle, I will try to be more patient. There may not be a lot I can control, but taking a beat and taking more time to listen before giving advice is something I can do for others, and for myself. 

Lesson learned- 

A