I'm tired. I'm tried of talk about the pandemic. I'm tired it's not over. I'm tired of hearing people try to make the best of something that has us all angry and cranky and agitated and bitter. I'm tried of hearing about how our energy sources are depleted. I'm tired of hearing about how tired this pandemic is making all of us.
But then there are moments when the tired and anxious gives way to tired and calm. I sit and do nothing but look out the window. I get in bed at 8:30pm and pull the covers up over my head and let the thoughts come and pass through. I try not to think too much about what I'm thinking or not, I try to just be right there, under the covers and be quiet. Not thinking, not doing, just being.
Maybe this is a lesson I need to learn and maybe it's a lesson we all need to learn- the lesson of just being. The lesson of not doing. Whether it's sitting outside or taking a walk, but not planning and maybe not really feeling, just doing less and being more. Maybe we should think of our fatigue as a break in thought, as a break in action. Maybe we should think of the sleepiness we feel as a layer of peace washing over us. There will be a time when we will be able to do more and plan more and be more. But that time is not now. Now is the time to be where we are and be simply quiet.
Lesson learned.
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