I had an argument with a friend the other day where we had a difference of opinion. I thought I should try a new diet and she thought I should stick with what I know had worked in the past. I thought she wasn’t being supportive, I thought she wasn’t being my cheerleader, and I thought she wasn’t giving me good advice. But as she pointed out in a conversation held the next day after tempers cooled, being on the same team doesn’t mean always agreeing. Giving someone advice they don’t want to hear is not being unsupportive. Being your cheerleader doesn’t mean being a yes man.
And it occurred to me that, in fact, being on the same team and being supportive and looking out for someone’s best interest may mean telling them something they don’t want to hear. Giving someone news or advice you know that may disappoint them or even hurt them is not easy, but a good friend and someone who cares about you gives you that news or advice because it’s needed. A casual acquaintance will not step into deep waters of disappointment or anger or fear with you so they stick to more shallow issues and feelings. But someone who is on your team, who wants the very best for you, will hold your hand and walk into these issues that need to be addressed, even if they have to lead you somewhere you don’t want to go but have to.
So in listening to advice of those who care about you, rather than jumping to the conclusion that they are simply a wet blanket, stop. They are giving you advice because they are by your side and may see something you can’t. Not following their advice does not mean that they will abandon you, and not agreeing with their opinion won’t have them run away, because being on a team together means you have each other and will hold each other up no matter what- good advice or bad, wanted opinion or not.
Lesson learned.
-a
And it occurred to me that, in fact, being on the same team and being supportive and looking out for someone’s best interest may mean telling them something they don’t want to hear. Giving someone news or advice you know that may disappoint them or even hurt them is not easy, but a good friend and someone who cares about you gives you that news or advice because it’s needed. A casual acquaintance will not step into deep waters of disappointment or anger or fear with you so they stick to more shallow issues and feelings. But someone who is on your team, who wants the very best for you, will hold your hand and walk into these issues that need to be addressed, even if they have to lead you somewhere you don’t want to go but have to.
So in listening to advice of those who care about you, rather than jumping to the conclusion that they are simply a wet blanket, stop. They are giving you advice because they are by your side and may see something you can’t. Not following their advice does not mean that they will abandon you, and not agreeing with their opinion won’t have them run away, because being on a team together means you have each other and will hold each other up no matter what- good advice or bad, wanted opinion or not.
Lesson learned.
-a
My philosophy is listen , smile, and nod, then do it your way. But you are right, a difference of opinion does not mean someone is being mean. Have a great day!
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